You Hypocrites!

Forgiveness. We all want it.

But, we don't always offer it.

In our Bible study this week, we discussed persuasive arguments people give as a reason they don't go to church or why they aren't Christian.  One argument people give is that "Christians are hypocrites."

As a Christian, let me confess.  I'm a hypocrite.

That's right.  I believe in a standard set by Jesus Christ, a standard with a bar so high that I cannot possibly toe the line without mistakes. I profess to believe in something, and yet I sometimes act in contradiction to those beliefs.  I'm an imperfect human.

And so are you. We are all hypocrites, aren't we?  At times, each of us simply fails to live up to standards we have set for ourselves.  It is the nature of fallen mankind.

But, I'm a hypocrite saved by the grace of the Lord Jesus.

Back to the issue of forgiveness.  I've always wanted forgiveness when I make a mess of things.  When I know I've done something wrong, or I've hurt someone, I want to be forgiven for not getting things right.  I want to know that just because I'm a temporary hypocrite doesn't mean that I'm worthless, unlovable or unforgivable.

Am I extending that same forgiveness when I'm the one who's been hurt or wronged?  Not always.

But, I'm getting better at it. And, that's because I'm getting better at giving the hurt, the anger, the betrayal, the unfairness to God.  He will carry my burdens if I let them go and lay them at His feet.

"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
Matthew 11:29-30

When we forgive others, we are made right with God. It is not about letting someone off the hook.  It is about knowing and living in the standard set by our Redeemer, who has called us to "love others as we love ourselves."  So, that's the other part of the equation.

Forgive yourself.  We are called to forgiveness.  Of others and of ourselves.  In forgiveness you will find true freedom, for when we give our burdens of anger, sorrow, hurt, sadness, betrayal, and frustration completely to the Lord, we are free to feel love, peace and joy knowing that our burden is gone.

Be love and be blessed,

Torture at the Hands of Prabal Gurung

Prabal Gurung at Target!  Are you kidding me?  Was this new clothing collaboration created just to torture me while I try to live in my self imposed non-shopping, nothing new, reuse, recycle, repurposed life?

Have you seen the commercials?  The.... cutest..... little.... dresses.... around!!  So colorful, springy, fashionable - so ME!  It hurts......  Okay, not literally.

Last week I went into Target to pick up a couple of items (nothing for me - and no clothing).  I knew Prabal Gurung was on the premises when I walked in the front doors. Beware, I told myself. Be on guard. Wouldn't you know it?  Of course those clever marketers placed the springy, colorful, flowing, lovely, sweet pieces of clothing just inside the doors where you almost have no choice but to walk right by!

Did I mention how unbelievably affordable Prabal is?  Well, you didn't expect that I could walk by and NOT look at the price tags, did you?

As I quickly flipped through the hangers just to see if this designer was worthy of my attention - I mean I flipped those hangers so fast - my mind raced. Cute, yes, ohhhh, ahhhh, my goodness, omg, $39.99 for this dress?, no way, I need to get this ... for Sara. She would look so cute in this.

I mean really, look at this! Easter dress?  For less than $50?  That's a steal!

It's a trap. What are you doing? You don't need that! Sara can buy her own clothes. Stop    looking     at      P R A B A L!

Joking aside, I find myself longing for a colorful spring outfit.  Maybe I do that every year at this time because I'm ready to celebrate the warming of the earth. Colors are ever so slowly teasing us and letting us know that just below the surface of winter and grayness is new life, color and abundance.

God is moments away from amazing us with his annual display of new beginnings, of rebirth. I look forward to watching those first green leaves unfurl from the native oak trees, and the dark green heads of spring asparagus pushing through the last layer of rich earth to reveal goodness and life that was hidden for a time from our sight, but life that had never stopped or left us.

So, I will resist buying a new dress for Easter, and instead focus on the exciting display of color, variety, freshness and life that will soon burst forth all around me.  And, I will say "Thank you God! You make Prabal Gurung's designs look like a pre-schoolers scribbling."

Keep your eyes open for blessings and your heart open with gratitude.

Be love and be blessed,

My Friend Katy

The tears haven't yet stopped completely.  I miss my friend so much.

I miss her in the morning when she would either wake us with "face sugars" or with the sound of her toenails clicking happily on the wood floors as she moved through her merry breakfast dance. 
 

Labradors live to eat and Katy was no exception to this endearing characteristic.  "Breakfast", "dinner" and "treat" were her favorite words!  Her tummy always knew the time to the minute.  At 5:00 p.m., she would sit and stare at you as if to say - "Hello, don't you have a watch?  It's time for my dinner."  If she were ignored while trying to get your attention as to the time, she would become quite vocal in her demands that you remember the well rehearsed meal routine.

Since I'm able to work from my home office, everyday is bring your dog to work day.  I miss Katy reminding me to get up from my desk and take a little break.  "Come on Mom, let's go for a short walk and stretch our legs."  Since she's been gone, I've forgotten to get up for long stretches and then suffered through back pain as a result.

She always took good care of me. 

When Sara went off to college and left us with an empty nest, Bruce was required to travel extensively, leaving me home alone.  But, I was never entirely alone.  Though devoid of human companionship for long stretches, I always had my loving and cheerful Katy May along with my sweet boy kitty Frodo.  She kept loneliness at bay with her never ending love, her cheerful nature, her beautiful smile and her sweet hugs and kisses.  More than once her thick yellow fur absorbed the tears falling from my face and she turned my sadness into smiles as she licked the salty moistness from my countenance.  Oh, how you loved me.

I don't know how I will enjoy our boat rides this spring without our First Mate, Katy.  She was the Queen of the Boat!  Next to all her food related words, "boat ride" was her favorite.  She was born to live on the lake where she could boat and swim at her pleasure!  I'll never forget the hundreds of times we would let her outside only to find her at the door a few minutes later soaking wet, with a huge smile on her face, waiting to come back into the house.  Of course, she knew that we would have to towel her off before she could come inside and that was nearly as wonderful as the swim itself.  "And, what happens when I go for a swim Mom?  That's right, a milk bone treat!"

Good Girl!

I miss her when we walk to the mailbox and come back through the gate.  I want to turn around and watch her promptly sit her rear down in the grass as soon as she was inside the gate, waiting for us to "go her way".  She stubbornly sat until we turned right off the paved driveway and headed toward the meadow and woods, the path she preferred to take on the way back to the house.  We hardly ever refused her insistent request. 

I miss my friend when I'm sitting on the closet floor putting on socks and shoes.  Katy made it a real challenge to get my shoes on because she strongly viewed sitting on the closet floor as an open invitation for a large yellow Labrador to roll all over my legs and keep me from being able to put on my shoes!  And, I always accommodated her by letting her roll on my lap, rubbing her belly and kissing her face.  "Good Girl Boo."

We nicknamed her "Boo Boo".  I couldn't remember how that got started so I asked Bruce the other day.  He reminded me that when she was a puppy she would clumsily run into things and it always looked like it hurt, so we called her "Boo Boo". 

I said before that Katy was full of courage and never complained.  She had bad hips at an early age, but she never let her pain get in the way of living a full life.  She was my brave warrior.

Katy had a heart of gold and lived to please us and make us happy.  And, in that she was magnificently successful.  I'm thankful we made her happy too - and were blessed to be able to spoil her rotten every day.  I thank God for our precious, furry, sometime smelly, itchy, lovable, ridiculously smart, happy, joyful, kind, courageous, beautiful, always shedding, funny, miraculous FRIEND - KATY.

I miss you everyday.  You will keep a piece of my heart with you in heaven until we are reunited.  I'll always love you Katy.

Be love and be blessed,

A Need For Wisdom

In our current Bible Study of Colossians we talked about walking "worthy of the Lord" and how we can't possibly do this on our own.  We must ask for guidance and wisdom from the Father in order to lead lives that honor Him.

Today, Lord, I need your wisdom and direction.  I'm faced with a heartbreaking decision and I really need your help.

Katy's condition seems to be getting worse.  She is having prolonged coughing episodes that seems to make it difficult for her to breathe and she sometimes expels pink tinged mucous.  We must assume that the lymphoma is progressing.

I knew she would get worse, but my mind couldn't comprehend the agony of making the decision to help her cross the rainbow bridge.  How will I know when it is the right time?

 

Being the tough girl she is, I don't know what kind of pain she is experiencing. She still wags her tail when I talk to her or come home from being gone.  She still eats her meals, though slower and with some difficulty.  She isn't losing weight or unable to walk.

But the horrible coughing and respiratory distress is alarming to witness.

I told Bruce that day will not be a good day.  But the Truth is that everyday is good.  Some days are just extremely difficult.

Please Father, give me strength and discernment to understand what is best for Katy, not for me.  Allow me to put my desire for her companionship aside and focus on mercy and compassion.  Let me know your goodness in each moment, even in the midst of my tears.

"Our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father loved us and through grace gave us eternal comfort and a good hope."

Be love and be blessed,

A for Effort

It's time for an update on my quest to be a non-consumer in 2013.  So far, I would give myself an A for effort!

Of course, I've made exceptions for 2 birthdays, but wouldn't it be poor taste to give someone else a used birthday present?  Actually, I have given some very special gifts in the past that I hadn't purchased.  But, I would only do that if it was something appropriate and unique for the person receiving the gift.

For one of the birthday gifts, I did shop at several clothing consignment stores, but I didn't find anything suitable - mostly suits and formal clothing, but nothing for a 28 year old fashion conscious woman. Again, A for effort!

The grandson received a few pieces of clothing from a baby consignment store.  And, like I said before, it's not always about saving money. The sleep and play outfits were as much at the consignment store as the new ones at Ross (discount stores are awesome!).  But buying the perfectly good used clothing does save on our carbon footprint (less clothing shipped from China) and our resources.

I've even held off on buying a new pair of athletic shoes, which are an allowed exception, making due with a pair of trail hiking shoes instead.  Eventually, I'll need that new pair, but for now I'm in no hurry.

We have Sawyer's baptism coming up in March.  Will I need a new outfit?  Hmmm....  stay tuned.

Be love and be blessed,