What we envision as "perfect" in our minds is often not the messy reality that is our lives. Sawyer didn't peacefully nurse, and has yet to spend his first night in his crib. His mother is so sleep deprived that the weariness has settled deep into her soul. She has never known such utter fatigue. His Dad says this is "the hardest thing I've ever done".
My husband and I (Pop and Gammy) have tried to pitch in and help the new parents as much as we can. Though, since we are 2 hours away, we can't always be there when we're needed. It breaks my heart when Sara, with total seriousness, asks if I will move in with them so I can help more. She knows, and I know, that because I still work and have my own obligations, I can't.
It has taken the four of us, and others, to soothe, calm, feed, nurture and love this little boy whose screaming seemed to have no beginning and no end. We rely on each other. Sometimes there is nothing to do but cry together. Other times, we laugh in our weariness and give thanks that we are still remarkably sane and semi-functional.
The feedings are getting better, with the help of medications. So far, the image of the peaceful, sleeping baby in his crib is only a hopeful fantasy. But, eventually, he will sleep in his room, and his mother will begin to adjust to the new "normal" and imperfect life that is theirs.
God gives us each our own personal village for comfort and strength. He knows when one of us is close to giving up, another is there to hold her hand, to dry her tears, to embrace her in silence and strength, until she is able to take a breath of love and hope into her soul, exhale slowly, and take one more step forward.
LEANING. TOGETHER. WITH LOVE.
Be love and be blessed,
Beautifully expressed.. Who knows what challenges will arise in our life and how our dreams will become a different reality than we envisioned. Sawyer was born into the hearts and lives of some very special individuals who have the great ability to love him through these trials. Love and Prayers for all of you always...
ReplyDeleteKaren
Thank you Karen! It helps the healing to put things in writing. I appreciate you!
DeleteWhy didn't you tell me this blog would make me cry, mom?! What a touching post. We could not have gotten this far without you guys. Love you,
ReplyDeleteSara
Love you Honey. More than you know. :)
ReplyDeleteThat is so true. Heath and I have been trying to have a baby for over 8 months. I had no idea the hills and valleys we would take in this journey. The one thing I do know for sure is that God is in control. His timing is perfect. Through our test, we will have a new testimony. One to share with others that might face the road one day.
ReplyDeleteAs God said to Joshua, Be Brave and Have Courage!!
Iesha
I couldn't agree more. As Heath and I have been trying to have a baby for several months, we had no idea of the road we would travel. But I know that God is in control. One day our test will become our testimony. I hope we can help others in this journey, but you are so right....not what we had envisioned...but so worth it!
ReplyDeleteAs God told Joshua, Be Brave and Have Courage!! Thank you for sharing.
xoxo
Iesha
You will have a wonderful testimony Iesha! I'll be praying for you and Heath! Keep me posted.
ReplyDelete