You Can't Make Sense Of It

My husband read to me the horrible headline from Connecticut yesterday morning.  I was shocked and saddened, but put it out of my mind to focus on work.  I just couldn't dwell on it at that moment.

It wasn't until the evening news came on and I heard the story, watched the anguished faces of parents and the fear stricken voices of little children, that grief grabbed hold of my heart.  I shook my head and cried.  In disbelief.  In sorrow. Asking the question nearly every person in America asked, "Why?".

People interviewed used the phrase "trying to make sense of it".  The more I thought of that, the greater my conviction that You Can't Make Sense Of It.

"The mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God..."  Romans 8:7

People often ask after a tragedy like this, "Where was God?", or "Why did God do this?".  God doesn't do evil, humans do.

Those who are not focused on God have opened a door into which evil may enter.  Some open the door willingly because they love evil and have a heart hardened against God and goodness.  Others open the door by virtue of a sick mind that cannot help itself. The evil one takes full advantage and makes a home in their hearts and minds. He uses their weakness to destroy the lives and hope of as many people as possible. And, he takes great joy in our suffering.

God is grieved when we allow evil to rein in our lives.  He suffers with us when we are hurt. The Spirit sighs in sorrow.

The loss of 20 sweet, precious babies and 7 beloved adults makes no sense. We live in a world that, by our choices, we have made evil, choosing sin over goodness in small and enormous ways.

People are wondering what we can do.  In the days ahead there will be calls for societal changes to stop the insane violence that claims innocent lives. And that in itself may lead to positive outcomes, but it won't eliminate the evil in the world.

Until Christ comes again to claim His Kingship and slay the evil one, we will live in a fallen and sometimes cruel world.  Our only hope is to set our sights on God, spend time with Him so His goodness penetrates our souls, and ...... PRAY.

It makes no sense - this killing of babies.  And, it is especially painful because we are in a season of celebration, of hope, of love. We will ask the question "Why?" again and again. There is no satisfactory answer.  Let us ask instead, "How do we get through this and maintain hope?"

"If God is with us, who is against us? He who did not withhold his own Son, but gave him up for all of us, will he not with him also give us everything else? For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Romans 8:31-32 & 38-39.

Be love and be blessed,

It Takes A Village

I always thought that was a rather hokey cliche. But, I've come to realize the truth in this short statement over the past 4 months. A beautiful and precious new life came to us 4 months ago when our grandson was born. His mama had visions of a peaceful angel nursing sweetly at her breast.  And, of a quiet, slumbering babe napping in his new carefully chosen crib.

What we envision as "perfect" in our minds is often not the messy reality that is our lives. Sawyer didn't peacefully nurse, and has yet to spend his first night in his crib. His mother is so sleep deprived that the weariness has settled deep into her soul. She has never known such utter fatigue.  His Dad says this is "the hardest thing I've ever done".

My husband and I (Pop and Gammy) have tried to pitch in and help the new parents as much as we can. Though, since we are 2 hours away, we can't always be there when we're needed.  It breaks my heart when Sara, with total seriousness, asks if I will move in with them so I can help more. She knows, and I know, that because I still work and have my own obligations, I can't.

It has taken the four of us, and others, to soothe, calm, feed, nurture and love this little boy whose screaming seemed to have no beginning and no end.  We rely on each other. Sometimes there is nothing to do but cry together.  Other times, we laugh in our weariness and give thanks that we are still remarkably sane and semi-functional.

The feedings are getting better, with the help of medications.  So far, the image of the peaceful, sleeping baby in his crib is only a hopeful fantasy.  But, eventually, he will sleep in his room, and his mother will begin to adjust to the new "normal" and imperfect life that is theirs.

God gives us each our own personal village for comfort and strength. He knows when one of us is close to giving up, another is there to hold her hand, to dry her tears, to embrace her in silence and strength, until she is able to take a breath of love and hope into her soul, exhale slowly, and take one more step forward.

LEANING. TOGETHER. WITH LOVE.

Be love and be blessed,

A Small Miracle

On August 7th, my life was instantly and irreversibly changed.  Little Sawyer, our first grandchild, was born, weighing in at 6 lbs, 6 ounces and measuring 18.9 inches long.  I am in awe of this little newborn's perfect form and the miracle of new life.

One can't help but stare in wonder at the beauty of a newborn's face. Though his features will change over time, and we really don't know who he will resemble as an older child or an adult, right now Sawyer is simply a perfect example of God's brilliant, creative artistry.

Sawyer's doctor explained to his Mama and me that babies are born about 2 months too early, justifying her statement with facts about not being able to sleep and needing to be held close to mom or dad's heart and needing to be fed so often.  But, I disagree.  I think God knew exactly what he was doing and did so with intention and perfect timing.

What better way for parents to form an unbreakable bond of unconditional love for their child than to have a perfect tiny human, with soft delicate features that we know will only be visible for a short window of time, utterly dependent on upon them for comfort, food, warmth and love?

God knew that the relief of hearing her baby's very first cry would soothe the mother's tremendous pain during childbirth.  He knew she would take one look at her baby and her heart would convince her aching body that he was worth every pain she endured.  I saw that on my daughter's face in the photos taken as she gazed upon her son's face for the first time. There was no sign of the great pain of labor on her countenance, though it had happened only seconds ago.  There was only the beauty of love and joy radiating from her smile and in the tears rolling down her face.

As humans in this complicated, busy age in which we live, we are often guilty of focusing on the wrong things. We don't pay attention to the small important tasks and get easily distracted and sidetracked, spending way too much time with issues and tasks that don't add value to our lives or the lives of others. But, a baby can change that.  God made them dependent on us partly because He knew how we are and that we needed a "nudge" to help us remain attentive to the needs of our children. New mothers barely have time to do laundry let alone sit around and waste time watching TV or spending hours on the phone gossiping with girlfriends.

So, moms and dads, spend time caring for this new, perfect creation who brings with him the possibilities of a better world in which we spend time caring for others and nurturing that which is perfectly created by God, but dependent upon us for life.

Welcome to the world Sawyer!  You are perfect!  You are fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who knew you and loved you before you were ever in your mother's womb.  You are deeply loved by your mother and father who will care for you and try to give you everything you need to make the world a better place.

I love you so much!

Gammy